Toby Rockwell, the Million Dollar Kittie

Toby is a sixteen year old, ginormous black and white cat- he used to be insanely fat, but now he's all bones- with hyperthyroidism, a huge tumor on his thyroid, a heart murmur and abscessed teeth which cause him to drool a lot. He loves taking his thyroid medicine in a pill pocket and is known as the "morning kittie" in that he jumps up on the kitchen table and shows great interest in your breakfast. He's really friendly and likes to have his neck- thyroid- scratched. Right now he has a bad case of fleas and I enjoy tremendously picking the black scabs off of his neck. Also, yesterday I couldn't take staring at his black with wax and dirt ears- he has big pink ears-so I cleaned them with some kleenex. He took that pretty well- just sat there and let me clean out the wax in his ears. Also, he never- in his entire life- has covered up his poo in the litter box: it just sits there until I go push some litter over it. This is not great in general, but is sort of grosser than normal right now in that he is going through a phase- and not for the first time, he killed a Gardenia plant of mine ages ago--of eating the leaves of the tomato plant in my yard which gives him horrendous diarrhea. We're talking the stinkiest- like, the whole 2000 square foot house stinks- yellow, wet balls of shit known to mankind. Anyway, if you want him, please come get him. I would like a cat that doesn't cost a fortune in thyroid meds and doesn't have chronicc diarrhea. Thanks.

Gorgeous though moldy trauma kitty

Beautiful gray, long-haired kitty with emerald green eyes. Thirteen years young, has lived in basement of (formerly new) house for past four years. Severely traumatized after flying cross-country to move from one coast to the other, then immediately losing her friend The Big Kitty who got hit by a car. Has gone underground for good; smells like a grave. BONUS: Surprise perk for mold enthusiasts!

LOVES: the darkness, being alone, peeing and pooping all over cement floors and crawl spaces, me.

HATES: litterboxes, children, the East coast.

Willing to swap for old, gentle, medium-sized dog. Must be housebroken and enjoy being outside, or at least, above ground.

Swap Your Decrepit Pets Here!

Hello, people of the universe! This blog is for pet owners who want to swap their old, barfing, crapping all over, flea ridden, farting, stinky pets with others! Contact each other in the comment section below! Exchange away! Also, gross stories left in the comment section will be "published" as posts by the perpetrators of Decrepit Pet Swap!

Sincerely,
DPS Team